Try the stop-start technique
Masturbate alone, but do it with a dry hand, almost to the point of ejaculation, and then stop. Do this three times; the fourth time, ejaculate. After many sessions of practice, you will gain some control. Then begin to increase the stimulation, first using lubrication and your own hand, then ask your wife to masturbate you, then try vaginal penetration. Consistent practice will lead to results.
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